Blinded
by Jobes
Summary: What happens when Pony is no longer able to witness the beautiful sunsets that he lives for, the laughter and golden smile of Soda, the faces of those that have been with him every step of his existence, and seeing is no longer an option? Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters from The Outsiders, but some additional characters that may or may not come in the future would perhaps be under my reign.

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Pony

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There was this book called Sunsets sitting on top of my dresser, still untouched ever since it was placed there maybe three or four years ago. Johnny had gotten (bought, stolen, whatever) it for me for a birthday. Opening it, I had read the first page out loud to Soda, though I knew he could have cared less back then.

"_Sunset, also called sundown in some American English dialects, is the time at which the Sun disappears below the horizon in the west. It should not be confused with dusk, which is the point at which darkness falls, some time after the beginning of twilight when the Sun itself sets. The red hues of the sky at sunset and sunrise are caused by—"_

I had stopped reading at that point.

"_Why'd you stop, Pon?" Soda asked, though it was obvious in his eyes that he was rejoicing that he wasn't going to be learning about the sun much longer. He never really liked to learn. _

"_Uh, I don' know. I'll read it later." I climbed out of bed and placed the book daintily on top of my dresser. _

And there it had stayed for years to come. Why had I stopped? I guess because to me, the real deal about sunsets that none of the other guys saw was its awe-inspiring mystery, so to speak. Learning about all the technicalities would have probably ruined them for me—the sun would have lost its one magical secret.

So here I sit, a couple of years later, more or less the same person, fascinated by the sun, most notably its falling everyday. Well, maybe not the same person. Things had happened these past few months, things that I don't know if I'm ready to face, to accept just yet. Johnny was gone. Dally was gone. My hand instinctively reached for the remaining wisps of bleached hair swaying in front of my eyes. A little part of _me_ was gone. Yeah, I guess I lied.

Sunsets meant so much more to me now, ever since that one I saw in Windrixville with Johnny. It sure was pretty. I think I mentioned it once afterwards and Steve called me a sissy. That's just Steve. No one understands that I now see a little bit of Johnny in every sunset. Soda tried to—he tried real hard and I appreciated it. I don't think anyone ever will be able to, though. Those sunsets… they just do something to me. They help me get by without having to accept the realities. They allow me to live.

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My face was warm and it felt nice in the chill afternoon breeze. Fiery shades of red and orange were flying through the sky, leaving trails of indigo and violet behind. The last rays of the day radiated, falling across the steps of the front porch where I sat quietly contemplating. It was a beautiful moment. The distant sphere in the sky glowed quietly as it continued its slow descent. The crimsons faded into fuchsias and the light danced its last goodbye as the world turned on its nightlight. The moon took reign of this side of the earth and let its brightness illuminate the night.

They seemed to go a lot faster these days.

"Hey Pony!" I heard a yell from down the street. Soda came running into view, his hands clasping down his DX cap ready to fly off and his work shirt unbuttoned, flapping behind him. I grinned, standing up and waving at the same time.

He halted to a stop as I was dusting off my pants, and gave me a short salute.

"Good evening, sir," he said, flashing that trademark grin of his. He draped his left arm around my shoulder, giving me a little push up the steps towards our open front door.

Today had been my last day of school; we were off for a two week break. Soda had decided to take off for a week or so from work so that we could hang. (Apparently Steve hadn't gotten the off time that he wanted when he had asked due to "misconduct" in the work place. Oh Steve…) Darry had actually suggested it, strangely enough, saying that we all needed a little break. We were good to go for a few weeks without having to worry about money problems. Hopefully, their jobs wouldn't leave them behind. That could be bad.

Stepping into the house, I noticed something cold sliding down the side of my arm.

"Aw, Soda, you're bleeding all over me." Soda pulled his arm off my shoulder and stared at the two inch cut along the side of his hand that he must have gotten at work. He smirked at me, wiping the blood off of my arm.

"I think it makes you look tuff."

Darry walked by, took a quick glance at us, and continued towards his room.

"Clean yourself up, Soda." His voice was still crystal clear coming from his bedroom.

"It's just a cut Dar. I'm actually diggin' the way it looks right now."

"Clean it up."

"But it's a tuff enough cut."

"Clean it up."

"But I thi—"

"SODA! Shut up and clean up. You got blood all over the place."

Fed up with trying to argue, Soda let out a sigh, blowing his golden, car-greased hair out of his face and walked towards the bathroom. He absent mindedly threw his hat on the ground and did a quick hair fix in the mirror.

"Where's that hydro-pox stuff you put on your cuts," he asked, rummaging through the medicine cabinet

"Hydrogen peroxide."

"Whatever."

"Top shelf to the left."

I heard a mumble "thanks" from the bathroom and then…

"Shoot! I left my pay check at the station," he yelled, hastily putting the peroxide back onto the shelf and running out of the bathroom. He ran past me, laughing and pushing me down onto the couch as the screen door banged shut.

Grumbling, I rolled onto the ground, got up and made my way to the bathroom. Soda always left things in a mess. I was kind of OCD about our medicine cabinet. I'm all types of odd.

My instincts had been correct. First-aid stuff had been knocked over and were randomly shuffled. The bottle of hydrogen peroxide was sitting dangerously close to the edge of the top shelf, its cap crooked, obviously not screwed on tight.

"Did someone just come in?" Darry shouted from the other side of my house.

"It's just Soda leav—"As I stuck my head out and turned, the traction under my feet abandoned me, accidentally catching onto the DX cap left on the ground. My legs went first, flying into a horizontal position as the rest of my body came crashing down towards the ceramic floor. My arms were flailing. My left hand grabbed for the counter, but only managed to crash against the medicine cabinet on its way. As my head cracked against the cold hard ground, I heard a crash from above me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear Darry yelling at me, but as my eyesight dimmed, an amber tinted fluid splashed violently onto my face. My eyes were suddenly on fire, burning with the most pain and intensity I had felt since Johnny and Dally had died. But that had been mental—this was physical, _really _physical, like thousands of knives stabbing at each square millimeter of my pupils.

All I could hear were the echoes of my screams.

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(Suspenseful blank)

Hey guys, I know that I just started my other story (Echo) and I'm still bent on definitely completing it, but I've kind of hit a rut and it doesn't seem like its interesting to most people. I know where I'm trying to get to, just not sure on how to get there and its not working for me at the moment. However, while I was in the middle of taking a nice shower, an idea hit me and I thought I'd try it out. Hopefully it hasn't been written about before, I don't remember reading anything of the sort, but if there is, then I hope mine doesn't become too similar to it.

I realize this chapter was light and all sorts of fluff, but if you're into the drama and angst it'll be coming. Trust me, it'll be coming. Good tidings dear readers. Don't forget to review! xD

Oh yea, the sunset bit at the beginning is copyright of wikipedia xD hah.

-J


	2. Chapter 2

Hey thanks for all the reviews guys! I really do appreciate them. Haha and yeah I know hydrogen peroxide doesn't make you blind (although if you bathed your eyeballs in a tub of peroxide for an hour it probably would). I actually began the story with that intent, but then thought about it and realized that it wouldn't be very plausible. But it's okay, cause Pony wasn't going to go completely blind in the first chapter anyway. It's just the start of things to come :D

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Outsiders

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Soda

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The sky was a purplish color. It was awful pretty, but nothing too spectacular; I never really found my place with sunsets like Pony did. A gust of wind blew into my face, sending chills down my back. I slowed down to a walking pace, catching my breath as I approached my house once again. The boss was just closing down the station when I got there. Luckily, he wasn't being too much of a tight ass today and allowed me to grab my paycheck before he shut down.

I skipped up the front steps and instantly froze as screaming found its way through the screen door. My heart dropped.

"Pony…" I whispered. Snapping out of my daze, I leapt forward, slamming the door open in one fluid motion, and ran straight towards the source.

"PONY! What happened?!" I scrambled down to my knees next to Darry who was trying to keep a very restless Pony still on the ground. Darry ignored me and continued patting Pony's face with a wet towel.

"Darry!" I yelled, forgetting that I was centimeters away from his ears. "What's going on?!" My heart was racing. Pony's eyes were clamped tightly. Tears had somehow managed to squeeze out of his lids and were streaming down his cheek, leaving clear trails among his stained skin.

_What the hell had happened to Pony?! Why won't Darry answer me??! _

Glancing further into the bathroom, I noticed for the first time the broken glass strewn across the tiles. The hydrogen peroxide bottle. Caught on to Pony's right foot was my DX cap.

_Oh my god. Oh god. Stupid, Soda. Stupid stupid stupid._

"Soda?" Pony whimpered, turning towards me. "Soda, I can't see,"—he stifled a cry—"it-it hurts…" The tears started again. I suddenly lost control of my body as words spilled out of my gaping mouth.

"Darrywegottogethimtoahospital-" I gripped my older brother by the shoulders and unintentionally started to shake him.

"He can't see! Oh god, he's going blind, oh god oh god, this is all my fault, Pony's blind, HE'S GOIN-"

"SODA SHUTUP!" Darry yelled, seeming to notice me for the first time. I sat there slightly shocked with my mouth hanging open. Darry can be loud sometimes.

"He's NOT going blind, okay? I already called the doctors and they said to just rinse his eyes out with a wet towel."

"But-but he said he can't see!" I proceeded, not seeing any logic in what Darry was saying. He sighed and turned back to attending to Pony, who was now just shaking and moaning every now and then. He reached up to rub his eyes, but Darry grabbed them and forced them back to his sides.

"Look Soda, he's not going blind. Hydrogen peroxide will sting like hell if you get it in your eyes, but his eyes aren't dead. They'll be okay in a while."

"Oh." I sat there for a few seconds before slumping down next to him and reaching for Pony's hands.

_Sorry, baby…_

"Pony? You okay now?" Darry sounded so calm. He always is.

"Ye-yeah… My eyes hurt like hell."

"I know… I know… But the doctor said not to touch them for a while or it might get worse. Can you open them?"

I silently bent forward and watched Pony struggle to open his eyes. It seemed to be too much for him. He sighed as his lids snapped shut.

"..hurts too much…" he muttered. Darry just nodded, though Pony surely couldn't have noticed.

"Can you get up?" I looked over at Pony's legs and noticed a tear in his jeans down one side that had caught onto a nail from under the sink. The fabric was outlined by a thin lining of dried blood. His arms were also in a similar condition, the left one bruised, probably from hitting the counter on his way down.

_God, Pony_.

"My legs hurt…" Breaking out of my stupor once again, I got to my feet and bent down towards him.

"Here, I got you, Pon'." Hooking one arm under his legs and the other behind his back, I picked him up with a surprising amount of ease. It must have been the adrenaline rushing through my startled body. He wrapped his arms around my neck. I turned around with Pony in my arms and stumbled over towards our bedroom.

"Careful!" I heard Darry yell.

Laying him down onto our bed, I leaned over to flip the lights on, but then decided that the dark might be easier on his eyes. I sat down next to him, hearing the clinking of glass coming from the bathroom. Darry must have been cleaning up.

He fidgeted around on top of the covers, pressing his body against my leg. I stretched out next to him, propping my head up with my left hand while my right one softly stroked his slightly damp hair. He turned to look at me, his eyes halfway open, unseeing, blinking a couple of times in the dark.

"Sorry… Soda…" He whispered. I cocked an eye at him, something that I'd picked up from Two-bit.

"What, Pony? You have nothing to be sorry about." He blinked a couple of more times at me and sighed.

"…just sorry for complaining and making a mes-" I pressed a finger against his lips.

"Shutup, Pony. It ain't your fault."

_It's mine…_

"It's… my fault Pony… I was just being my old stupid, careless self," I murmured quietly. I could tell he was dozing off. He buried his face in my t-shirt and mumbled.

"No… don't blame yourself Soda…"

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The room was a bright shade of blue with streaks of rose-colored light streaming in through the blinds as I opened my eyes. I glanced at the clock. 6:04 AM.

"Must have fallen asleep…" I muttered to no one in particular. I moved my arm and was surprised that there wasn't anything under it. Tilting my head to the side, I saw Pony sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the window.

"Pony?"

He turned around and looked at me, his eyes a tiny bit dull, but wide open. A grin began to whip across my face. Yet, it wasn't long before my spirits instantly plummeted.

"Why is the room so dark?"

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Hm… What happened?! Aren't you curious? Or not at all? Hahaha. A few questions for you dear readers: Was this chapter rushed? (I did it in a rather short period of time) I'll probably be going back over it and revising stuff. Was Soda's reaction a bit over the top? A bit understated? A bit out of place? Any critique will help! Thanks again for reading guys! Reviews cure blindness? Wow, I never knew.

-J


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! School the bane of our society, or rather, just the havingfreetimetowrite part of it. So it's been a while since the last update, but hope you guys will still find interest in this story! Thanks for all the reviews guys! IT really does make me happy to get a random review in the middle of a stressful week. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Outsiders characters

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Pony

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_Oh jeez. _

You know that aching type of pain you get after running a long time? The way your legs won't really move anymore, because they've been pushed past their limit? I remember running the 400m once and killing myself to get to the finish line first. The fact that I hadn't been training properly made it even worse. I woke up the next day, my legs so incredibly sore that Soda had to help me out of bed in order to get to school on time. Even then I was too tired to walk. Darry yelled at me that day.

That's how I felt now. Only this time my eyes were the ones hurting. They ached, not with the same initial pain that had been the burning peroxide, but with a soreness, as if I had kept them open, staring at a Polaroid for hours and hours on end.

The sound of Soda's deep-breathing whispered quietly into my ears. I turned onto my side with my lids still heavily shut and curled up under his arm. Falling back asleep seemed to no longer be an option, though, as the soft pounding in my head proved a worthy opponent. I lay still, concentrating on Soda's heavy breaths, but eventually decided to give up.

Turning to where the clock was, I forced one eye open. All I could see was mass of green neon lights. I rubbed my sleep eyes lazily with my balled up fists, hoping that the blurriness would be wiped away. Opening both eyes, I looked around the room. It was fairly dim, meaning that I must have woken up a few hours too early. From outside the window the chirping of a Blue Jay caught my ear.

_Strange…_

Birds weren't usually up in the middle of the night. I stood up from the bed and walked towards the window, noticing a slight increase in brightness. _Slight_. Everything around me was a fuzzy mess. I couldn't make out any sunlight, just a change in the level of darkness.

The bird continued to sing. Others answered.

_Uh oh…_

My feet shuffled in reverse back to my bed, my legs bending until I was sitting down. I heard Soda stir from behind me. The bed sheets shuffled. He mumbled incoherently. Then, more shuffling.

"Pony?"

"Why is the room so dark?"

I'm still not entirely sure why that was the first thing to come out of my mouth. A "good morning," or "hey, Soda," probably would have worked fine. But my aching eyes had taken control of my mind, its well being having shifted to first priority. I don't know if that makes much sense.

"What… Pony? What do you mean?"

Ignored him.

"What time is it?"

Hesitation.

"Around six… Why?"

Deep breath.

"Soda, I think I'm going blind."

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Soda's POV

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Somehow I knew what was coming. The glazed, blank stare in his eyes could only have meant one thing.

_But Darry said that it was no big deal…that nothing would happen. _

My heart had gotten caught in my throat. For some reason, tears were subconsciously forming behind my eyes.

_Why are you getting so worked up about this? It's just his eyes. He's not dying or anything. _

The thought had just popped up out of nowhere. I nearly slapped myself for thinking it. Pony _was _his eyes. Reading, writing, watching movies… sunsets. Without them, he was good as dead, or at least I knew that was how he would feel. Will feel.

_Oh lord. _

"Soda?"

I snapped back to reality, noticing no trace of sadness in Pony's tone of voice. He must have been scared though. I was scared.

"Hey."

_Nice, Soda._

"Actually, maybe I'm just tired..." Pony whispered, turning away. He was always saying things to make me feel better.

_Oh, Pony…_

"Does the room really seem dark…?" I asked cautiously. Quietly. Cautiously. I don't really know if you can ask a question cautiously. Fear causes me to confuse my words.

I took a glance towards the window, squinting at the fierce rays of sunlight that were now pouring relentlessly onto the bed. The rose-colored streaks turned orange as the bright, powder blue sky took back its rightful place outside. He looked around, his eyes concentrating on random corners.

"It all just kind of looks… gray?" I gulped, quite loudly in fact. "Or maybe I'm just color blind." He let out a stifled laugh. A forced laugh. A scared laugh.

_God, he was going blind. _

"Oh, hell," I half yelled, throwing the covers off of me and moving to where Pony was sitting. "We're going to the hospital, right now."

"Wait, what?" Pony gasped as I scooped him up into my arms and proceeded out of our bed room.

We were going to figure out what was wrong. Now. My fear/worry/shock had turned into mild anger and anxiety, with a touch of I-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-I'm-doing. One might have wondered where my sudden change in demeanor had come from. I don't really have an answer for that one.

I paused for a moment outside of Darry's door.

"Don't wake him…" Pony whispered, being able to tell why we had stopped. "He was up all night cleaning, I bet. Plus, this might just turn out to be nothing." His lips twitched. He obviously wasn't even able to convince himself.

"Um…" Maybe he was right. Did we really need to put anymore trouble on Darry's already loaded shoulders?

"Alright, then…" I continued towards the front door and gently pushed the screen door open. Outside the breeze carried a sickeningly sweet aroma of fresh cut grass. The sunlight seemed even more golden outside, the sky even brighter. The world was bursting with color with no one awake and able to appreciate it.

"Why are you still carrying me? My legs work okay, Soda," Pony muttered.

"Shut-up, baby."

Pony lay still after that, his eyes darting back and forth, his mouth opening and closing as if he was trying to say something. I guess I kind of caught him off guard.

After helping Pony into the passenger's side of the car and getting into the driver's seat, I heard him open his mouth again.

"Is the hospital open this early?"

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The doors of the hospital were wide open as people strolled in and out. Pulling into the parking lot, I pointed that very thing out to Pony.

"See? Told you it was open." He turned to look at me and just kind of shook his head.

_Soda, you idiot_.

"I can't really tell." He grinned half-heartedly, the corners of his lips not really reaching the full potential of a smile.

"Sorry…" I mumbled, getting out of the car.

With one of my arms guiding and supporting Pony, we walked into the sparkling white building. There was a lady sitting behind a counter. She looked like the right person to talk to.

"Hi, we need to see a doctor."

"For what purpose, dear?" The lady looked up, her dark brown eyes a bit too bright and cheery for this hour of a day.

"I think my brother's… going blind." Her expression remained unchanged.

"I see. Name?"

"Ponyboy Curtis. Yes, ma'am… That's his real name."

"Right. Now I just need you to fill out these forms." From under the desk she picked up a thick stack of papers. Surely I didn't have to fill out every one of them.

"Just fill in the necessary information and sign each one of these," she said with a smile. I looked over at Pony who had found his way to a chair right next to the counter. He stared blankly at the people walking quietly by. I sighed and turned back towards the girl.

"Thanks."

Maybe we should have woken Darry up.

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So, I realize how bad the pacing was in the story, and my only question to you is if any of it was plausible or entirely too rushed and… incohesive. I can't say I'm in the "zone" at the moment, so my writing may not be up to par. I'll probably be re-editing this chapter, probably constantly for the next few days, so please just let me know if anything seems unrealistic. If it all seems okay, then… well that'd be good too, haha.

Thanks again for reading! I know this chapter was probably really boring. I'll try to make the next few ones better. Hope you stick with it, though!

Reviews are fun.

-J


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for sticking around guys and thanks for the reviews! Going to keep this A/N short and simple this time and get straight to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

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Pony

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"Have you ever smoked?"

"…Duh."

"Drank?"

"Shouldn't you already know these things?"

"Any sexually transmitted diseases we should know about?"

"Come off it, Soda!" I shouted quietly.

"Sorry." He looked back down at the stack of papers still in his lap.

I sighed and went back to tapping on the side of my chair. Soda was a hazy mess, but I could tell that he was doing his best to make me feel better. That's the way it was between us. I'd try to make him better, and subsequently make it worse. Then he'd try to make me feel better about making him not feel better and the vicious cycle would go on and on. Brothers. Gotta love it.

I was kind of glad that I couldn't see his face, couldn't see the worry that I knew would be creeping beneath his eyes.

_Soda, I don't deserve you. _

It was strange, looking at the world through another person's eyes. When we had come to the hospital a few months ago, the bright gleam of the polished tiles had nearly blinded me, but now, to me at least, they were a comfortable gray mat on the ground. Off-white shapes walked back and forth clutching brown squares, most likely clipboards. Other colors were rushing to and fro, people coughing and wheezing their way from one end to the other. Hospitals bothered me. I hated them. Hated the lives they took away…

"Pony…boy Curtis?" A voice boomed from behind. I whipped around to see a mass of white. Soda lifted his head from his laborious studying of the last few sheets of paper that didn't really seem relevant… to… well, anything.

"That's me," I said softly.

There was a rustling of papers as the doctor flipped hastily through his clipboarded documents that Soda just handed him.

"Come this way." I couldn't tell whether or not he was smiling, but his voice had a pleasant lilt to it. I hated stressed out, agitated doctors. They hardly ever really checked up on you.

I stood up on my wobbly feet. I'd forgotten that they hadn't been working too well. Soda rushed up and grabbed my shoulders.

"Steady there, Pon'," he whispered, helping me down the hallway that the doctor had briskly walked down. He turned into a room, presumably, as it looked to me as if he had simply stepped through the wall.

"If you'll just get up onto this table," the doctor ordered, as we walked in. I could tell that he was smiling a great big ol' smile from the tone of his voice. Doctors generally always seem happy, I suppose, as to not scare away their patients.

Soda lifted me up onto the cold metal surface, though I honestly wouldn't have had much trouble getting there myself. I almost slapped him for treating me like some disabled toddler.

The doctor paused for a second and turned to look at Soda.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Huh?"

"Family?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm his brother."

"Alright, just checkin'. Now let's see what's going on here."

The doctor swung something off of his belt, kind of like batman's utility belt. A bright spark of light suddenly flashed in my right eye, then the other.

"Hm…"

The doctor's voice wasn't so chipper anymore.

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Soda

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I saw the doctor frown and instantly my breath got caught in my throat.

"What'd you get in your eyes?" he asked. How he knew that Pony had gotten something in his eyes was beyond me. But then again, doctors seemed to know their stuff pretty well.

"Hydrogen-peroxide."

"How'd you manage that?"

Pony's head unintentionally spun towards me, and for a second I felt like the smallest being in the entire world.

"Accident."

_Pony…_

"Look's like you got quite a bit on you. Let's see…" The doctor flipped through the forms I had handed him. "How's your vision?"

"I'm going blind, sir." I could tell Pony was getting a bit antsy. He hated hospitals.

"Maybe not so much," the doctor said with a slight laugh.

_What're you laughin' at, bud? _

The doctor turned off the… eye examining deal—I wanted to call it a stethoscope but then I'd be completely wrong—and stood up from his bent position in front of Pony.

"Well?" I asked, trying to mask the impatience in my voice.

"Well… he's not going completely blind, if that's what the two of you were worried about." I instantly let out a sigh and turned towards what I expected to be a relieved Ponyboy. He was just kind of staring at the wall, though, his eyes blank and emotionless.

"However, a layer of the cornea has been damaged by the hydrogen-peroxide. Normally, just a bit of it won't harm you, but it seems that he got more in his eyes than just a little bit."

"Right…"

_Your fault, Soda._

"That would explain why his visions skewed at the moment. The damaged surfaces of his eyes aren't clear like they should be. It's almost like an intense case of color-blindness or incredibly bad eye sight." For a doctor, he didn't seem to use really technical words. He probably noticed that he was talking to a couple of greasers.

"At any rate, there's a new method of cornea transplant where we use healthy corneal tissue from a nearby eye bank to replace the central damaged tissue…"

I wasn't really paying attention to him at this point. Sure, it all sounded good… but expensive. Excessive money was a leisure us Curtis's didn't have. I looked back up at the doctor from where I had sat down as he continued to ramble on. Pony was still just staring blankly, his ears listening intently.

"…a bit of a risk."

"Sorry, what?" Apparently I had missed something important. Pony turned to look at the doctor. His brows were creased and his mouth was bent down at the corners.

"Yes, this new method, although fairly safe, has only been performed a couple of times at this institution. We could, however, send you to a specialist in Oklahoma City-"

"There's no way we could pay for it," I blurted out. I wondered why I was so concerned with the money issue. I would have worked triple shifts if that meant being able to pay for Pony to see again.

"Oh," the doctor said, a bit taken aback. "Well, like I said, we can do it here. It's a fairly simple procedure and shouldn't be too much out of your pocket. I'm sure your parents will help pay for it." He smiled genuinely at me. I knew he was trying to help, but he obviously didn't know our situation.

"That… won't be possibl-" I started to say when Pony interrupted in a thin raspy voice.

"What would happen if the operation went wrong?"

I noticed a bit of uneasiness flash briefly from behind the doctor's eyes as he turned to look at Ponyboy. He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

_What a complete change of appearance…_

"Well… there's that chance that you'll lose your eye sight completely."

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I know development chapters like these are probably not much better to read than they are to write, but I swear the chapters will get more interesting! Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to a leave a friendly/flaming review! My medical stuff might be off, but don't take that into account xD.

-J


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.

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Soda's POV

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I took a step off of the short ledge and onto the parking lot. Turning around, my hands steadied Pony as he stumbled a bit behind me. I slapped his hands away from his eyes.

"He said not to touch, baby."

"I know… it itches," he mumbled, grabbing my shoulder and pushing me forward.

The sun was shining brightly in the sky now with the purity of a new day. It had to be around mid-morning by now.

Darry was probably up.

Probably worrying.

Probably mad.

Ah well.

"I'll take care of it later," I whispered.

"What'd you say Soda?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing."

Pony was doing it. We were doing it.

_Oh, the money… _

Shut-up Soda. It's for Pony's sake.

_I'll look forward to those hours working overtime. _

It was true, the money issue that is. We were going to have to find a way to pay for the operation—that is if Pony still wanted to go through with it. He had said that he wanted to, clearly and determined. But now, looking at his fragile, slightly frowning face, he didn't look so sure.

I understood completely.

_Or so you say… _

This was risky. This was his future he was deciding—not to sound too melodramatic, but his eyesight….well, if anyone knew Pony they'd understand. I'd already said it so many times.

"You okay Soda?" Pony asked. Maybe he wasn't so blind after all.

I flashed him a grin, reaching up and ruffling his hair.

"Yeah kid, just thinking."

The truth was, in the two hours that passed in the hospital, my mood had drastically metamorphosed.

_Metamorphosed… I think that's the word I'm looking for. _

I wouldn't have been able to answer why if anyone asked, but I was suddenly very mellow—strangely calm and contemplative—but very agitated at the same time. Agitated at what? Just everything I suppose. It began, or rather got worse, just less than 24 hours ago. Yet, it felt as though I'd been living this nightmare for weeks….

"HEY GREASE! WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING, DIRTYING UP THE HOSPITAL?" someone yelled all the way across the parking lot. "IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE GONNA HELP TRASH LIKE YOU!" A burst of laughter followed.

Pony must have felt me tense up. He whispered "ignore 'em, Soda, ignore 'em" in my ear at a rapid pace but it was too late. I wasn't in the mood.

"FUCK OFF!" I yelled as I bent down to pick up a smashed rear-view mirror lying conveniently on the ground. Before I could stop myself, the quite dangerous, solid projectile was flying through the air.

By the time the crash from the contact of mirror and car reached my ears, I had already half-lifted, half-thrown Pony into our car and was turning the ignition.

"I think they're coming this way, Soda," whispered Pony.

"Shit."

There were two cars of them.

I slammed on the accelerator.

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Hey guys! This was extremely short, I know, but it's kind of a lead in…. and an excuse for getting a chapter out xD Some of it may not make total sense either, but it's intentional. I hope.

I know that this probably wasn't what you guys were expecting, but I wanted to test something out and to get some feedback. Of course, I shouldn't be expecting too much since I know that this short chapter probably didn't really contain enough substance to mean anything. Plus, I know the tone of the writing was probably kind of weird. I was in a very… strange state late at night writing it. It'll most likely be revised. 10000 times.

I know it's been forever since I've updated, but AP exams are coming to a close in a week and I might be able to spend more time writing. Sorry for the wait and slightly disappointed arrival of a semi-chapter! I promise I won't be so mean next time :D

PS: Thanks goes out to all the reviews! Seeing those stray reviews are what remind me and drive me to keep on going with the story. So really, thank you guys so much.

-J


	6. Chapter 6

**:D** You guys are great. Really.

Disclaimer: Own none.

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Pony's POV

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The brightness of the sun had actually hurt me when we first stepped out of the hospital. I was actually quite excited at that.

"_Now I'm going to give you some medicated eye drops to clear and clean out the eyes before we do anything." _

The drops, though nice and cold, had stung my eyes pretty badly.

"_Try not to touch your eyes or get anything in them. They're intended to clean, but because they're designed to kill 99 of all bacteria, the drops are very strong and tend to make your eyes very vulnerable to any outside sources." _

They had itched insanely and even now, as I braced myself in the backseat of Soda's churning car, it was all I could really think about. The upside? I could see a little better than before—my vision had changed from blindly blurry to I-have-horrible-eyesight-and-cant-see-worth-shit-without-glasses blurry. Sadly, I was actually getting used to it and all but the itching began to bother me less and less. I had gotten past that stage of anger and denial after realizing none of my moaning and groaning would be helping at all.

Soda was cussing inaudibly under his breath while his head snapped back and forth, searching for the Socs.

Soda.

Ever since the doctor told us about the surgery procedures and stuff, Soda had gotten into some kind of funk. He didn't really say much and even though I couldn't really see, I could tell that his usual smile had packed its bags for a weekend off. Whatever it was, it wasn't helping him keep his cool.

"Damn, those fucking little shits," he muttered. "Why can't they just leave us alone!?"

The car suddenly jerked to the side, causing my head to slam against the window.

"Ow!" I yelped.

"Oh god, Pony, you okay?"

"Yeah..." I mumbled, rubbing my head.

The cars behind us were honkin' and people were yelling as we ripped down the streets.

This was going to be a bumpy ride.

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Soda's POV

-------------

_Holy shit, Soda, way to fuck everything up again. _

"What to do, what to do…" I grumbled inaudibly between clenched teeth, my knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.

With a quick flick of my wrist, I brought the car swerving into the right lane, narrowly dodging a completely wasted truck chugging slowly along the street.

_God damnit, what are you going to do? _

I twisted my head backwards and saw that only one car was chasing after us now. Relief unintentionally ripped through my body.

"SODA!"

Before Pony even opened his mouth to scream, I knew in the pit of my stomach what was about to happen. Snapping my head back towards the road, my range of vision began to shrink as the towering mass of a cement truck grew larger and larger at an unbelievably rapid pace.

_Oh shit._

Jerking my entire body towards the right, I brought the car screeching onto the dusty side walk, screams and curses flying by as we tumbled along the three feet wide path. With an ear splitting crunch, the left side of the car slammed into a telephone pole and almost immediately it seemed as if the entire world was tipping over. And as it continued to fall, I heard tires coming to a screeching halt behind us. Oh god.

Once the car was at a standstill, I scrambled out of my seat, twisting and turning to reach for Pony in the back. There was a pulsing pain in my left leg, but taking care of myself was the last thing I had on my mind.

"Pony? Pony?!" I yelled, seeing him crumpled up against the right-hand doors, which were now face down in the dust.

He hadn't made a sound. I should have known something was wrong. A new wave of fear swept through my entire being.

Bending my legs in ways that I could never have guessed that it could bend, I crawled into the back seat and set my feet onto the nearly shattered window pane. My right hand was shaking as I grappled around above me for the left-door handle. With a push, the door burst open, showering us with dust and chips of paint. I scooped Pony carefully up in my left arm and frantically started climbing out of my car.

Thank god for adrenaline and Pony being so light.

The contents of my brain were swimming as I pulled out of the car and jumped out onto the concrete with Pony in my arms. Three Socs stood before me, two grinning and one scowling with the broken rear-view mirror hanging in his hand.

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Pony's POV

---------------

My head hurt something awful, enough to temporarily override my visual concerns. For a while I couldn't tell why I was shaking. It was hot as heck, and I wasn't in much of a position to really see what was going on. It wasn't until the rest of my senses found their way home that I realized that Soda was trembling, his hands gripping me tight and pulling me closer towards his body.

_Must have blacked out,_ I grimaced, rubbing a growing welt on the side of my head. I could feel fresh cuts on my arms and legs burning in the sun. We sure as hell weren't in Darry's car anymore. Glancing past Soda's right shoulder, I could barely make out a mass of metal and plastic. Uh oh.

It was moments before I finally heard someone speak.

"Get the hell away from us," Soda growled, trying to hide the fear in his voice. _Fear_. Soda had never once been afraid to confront a Soc…ever. He even relished in the challenge—the fight.

"Looks like you got no way of getting out of this. Had a little accident, eh?" A deep raspy voice said, clearly ignoring Soda's request. He continued on without waiting for an answer. "Maybe you should have thought twice before chucking worthless junk at us, huh. Oh wait, excuse me, I forgot that trash wasn't worthless to greasers." A roar of laughter followed. I could feel Soda tensing up, his hands beginning to shake uncontrollably.

"Soda…" I softly whispered. He suddenly stopped shaking, but didn't say a word. "I'm… okay," I muttered, taking his silence as a cue. Another agonizing stillness followed as the feet of the raspy voiced soc began to scuffle forwards, his buddies still chuckling obnoxiously.

"Pony," Soda suddenly spoke, his voice devoid of emotion. "Run."

In less than a second he had dropped my feet onto the ground and pushed me to the left. I began to run blindly down the sidewalk, past the creaking of our dying car, with no clear sight of where I was headed.

I could have sworn that Soda had been right behind me the entire time, but as I slowed down, rounding a corner, the only sounds that I could hear were the whirring of engines droning lazily along the roads.

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Thank you for your patience. Thank for your comments. Most importantly, thank you for still reading. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. I feel like this chapter was rushed, but in a sense, it kind of was, cause I've felt that I've been needing to get a chapter out, however short, sooner or later, for my own sake. Any longer and I would have probably gotten too lazy to continue. Thanks again!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews and not giving up on my story!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

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Soda's POV

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A once-tiny voice in the back of my head was now starting to scream.

_Soda! You can't just tell Pony to run when he can hardly see! YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIM KILLED!_

And I knew that the voice was right. From the second the word "run" left my lips I knew that I had made another mistake. Stupid, stupid mistakes.

"Get the kid!" The leader Soc yelled, pushing the one to his right after Pony.

Without thinking, I lunged forward, cracking my right fist into the pursuing Soc's face. He fell heavily to the ground, his head making a sickening crack against the pavement. I turned back to the other two just in time to see a polished brass ring come crashing into my right cheek. Immediately my knee thrust up, pegging the assaulter in the gut. With a groan, he too fell to his knees onto the hot sidewalk. A second later I was running after Pony, down the same dusty path that I had seen him take.

Seconds turned into panicked minutes as I got further and further down the walk. The houses slowly began to grow further and further apart as golden fields took the place of green lawns. I glanced up at the street sign as I rounded the corner. Easton Rd. I'd never even heard of the place. There was no way that Pony could have known where he was—how to get home.

"PONY?!" I yelled, turning frantically on the spot, staring blindly in each direction, hoping to make out a familiar figure.

_Where could he have gone?! How could you have lost him again?!_

Lost.

The word echoed in the hollowness of my mind. For a second, I stood there at the corner, completely still. In the dismal silence, I could hear the beating of my heart increasing at a rapid pace while the thoughts within my head began to dwindle, my brain processing slower and slower. It's impossible to explain, but I could literally feel myself breaking apart inside. A sickening pain jabbed at the pit of my stomach.

_How could you let this happen, Soda. How could you lose him again?_

But that was just it...

I couldn't.

I couldn't lose him again. Not like last time… not like when we lost Johnny.

_But where could he have run off to?_

To my right, the walk eventually led off into a high-grass field, cattails waving lazily in the summer sun. As I scanned the path straight ahead of me across the empty dirt road, I noticed something oddly familiar. Shielding my eyes from the glare of the sun, I suddenly realized that the next street down a block was a tiny side street that led straight into our own home road, it's street sign spray painted black years ago by none-other than TwoBit. Once again, the bells of relief rang loudly in my head. Pony would surely have continued down the street, eventually running onto familiar turf. With a sigh, I started across the road, jogging quickly down the street back towards home.

Pony had to have gone this way.

He had to have.

In fact, he was probably already back home, facing the wrath of Darry.

_After all, he wasn't completely blind… right? _

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Pony's POV

---------------

The silence had been broken with the faint screaming of the raspy-voiced Soc. In less than a few minutes, I heard the pounding of feet in pursuit ringing from a distance behind me.

The Socs were coming.

But what about Soda? Was he still back there? Was he hurt?

"Soda…"

Fear began to roll through my arms and legs as the footsteps became more distinct in the summer air. To my right there appeared to be a field of some sort. I could see the outlines of tall grasses waving back and forth. I ran, stumbling and falling, towards the field and dove into the surprisingly soft yellow grass. Rolling further in, I covered my face with my arms, bringing my knees to my chest, daring myself to stay as still as possible. The tall plants however muffled any noises that I may have made. I laid there for a few seconds before I heard someone call out my name.

_Soda?_

Relieved, I unraveled myself from within the grass and stood up, peering as hard as I could at the corner where I had been standing. I could hear the scampering of feet, though I couldn't tell which direction they were headed. However, something dark suddenly stepped into my view and it seemed to grow larger and larger until…

"Payback for your fucking greaser brother!"

An inexpressible pain surged through my head as the world fell into total darkness.

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Darry's POV

---------------

"Soda… where's Pony?"

Soda stepped into the living room without even acknowledging my presence.

"And what happened to you?" I asked, unintentionally cocking my eyebrows.

I stood up from the kitchen table and walked to the door as the screen slammed shut with a THWACK. It was all I could do to keep my voice as calm as possible. Soda's soft, blue eyes were wracked with pain and worry, a look that didn't use to come about that often. There was also a dark-purple bruise beneath his right eye.

"I-I… he's not… here?" he muttered, eyes darting back and forth around the living room.

"Soda…" I said, maybe a little too sternly. I gripped his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. But before I could say anything, tears began to brim in those dark pools of blue. With a guttural cry, he shook my hands off of his shoulders and stepped out of the doorway into the living room, hastily wiping at his eyes with his arm.

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_The blaring alarm at my head went off, it's life shortly ended by the smashing of my fist against the snooze button. My back ached from an entire night of bending down and picking up pieces of broken glass, wiping the floor, and setting everything back right in the bathroom. Glancing at the big 11:00, a tiny smile forced its way onto my dazed face. I loved my days off, as rare as they were. Swinging my legs off the bed, I sat up, rubbing the sleepiness out of my eyes. It took me a while to remember the events that had taken place just half a day ago. _

"_Pony…" I mumbled, getting out of bed and walking out of the bedroom. _

"_Hey Soda, Pony, you guys up yet?!" I yelled, though a yawn interrupted my call. _

_Stretching my arms over my head, I waited patiently for the groaning and grumbling of two disheveled young men, pushing each other out of bed. _

_Silence. Could they still be asleep? Even on his days off, Soda was usually up and running by 9. Pony on the other hand, well he had reason to sleep in later today anyway. _

"_Pony? You okay babe?" I half yelled half whispered, walking slowly down the hallway towards their room. _

_Once again, no answer. A nauseating feeling worse than fear began to rise within me. Their bedroom door stood wide open. A quick look inside only mounted my worry—no, worry wasn't a strong enough word for what I was feeling. Pony wouldn't have gone out, not if he was still hurting from last night. And if Pony wasn't going out, then Soda sure as hell wouldn't. A tiny voice in the back of my head was trying to console me, telling me that maybe they had just gone and taken a stroll; maybe Pony was perfectly fine now. However, something was nagging at my "oldest brother" intuition. A closer look inside their room didn't help to calm me any. The bed had been left in disarray, half of the cover falling off the bed. Sunlight was streaming in brilliantly, falling in glowing spears upon a floor covered in clothes and random objects—cards, books, alarm clo-_

_Wait, what was the clock doing on the floor? _

_Maybe I was looking too much into it, but it seemed as though it had been recently knocked off—its surface slightly cracked and dust free. A sudden thought sprung into my mind that sent me turning and running into the living room. Through the dusty window I noticed something missing… something important… something like… my car. _

_--------------------------------------_

Soda's head hung low, and it was a couple of minutes before he twisted his neck to look at me. His dark, _pained_ blue eyes were strangely piercing, as if he could see straight down into my soul.

"So… he's not here then?" He asked, in a small pitiful voice. A tiny bit of hope could be detected in the mix.

"No. I mean, I thought, I—didn't you take him somewhere in my car?" I stuttered, slightly thrown off.

_Speaking of my car…_

I glanced back over my shoulder, expecting to see it parked messily against the curb. The street was still empty.

"Soda," I asked, anger/confusion slowly mounting, "where's the ca—"

"He's run away." He muttered. Then quickly, as if he had just realized what came out of his mouth, he waved his arm, appearing to wipe his words out of the air. "I mean, not _run away_, but run… somewhere." He paused for a moment. "I told him to just run, and he, and he—I didn't, didn't think—wasn't thinking and he just, just ran and I—" And it was at that point that he fell to his knees and started punching the floor.

"STUPID, STUPID, STUPID," he screamed, letting tears fly perilously from his fuming eyes.

For some reason, the anger and fear that had previously been growing within my trembling body suddenly gave away, replaced only by pangs of worry and concern. I slowly knelt down beside Soda and gently wrapped my arms around him, resting my chip atop of his head.

After a few minutes, I stepped back, taking a hold of his shoulders once more, but this time gently.

"What happened, Soda?"

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Soda's POV

--------------

I'd definitely be lying if I said that I wasn't surprised by how… un-Darry-like Darry was being. Truth be told, I expected him to be furious, to be throwing things, though I don't think I would have really noticed at that point. I had been expecting Pony to be here, safe and sound, lying on the couch watching Mickey or some other sort on the TV. It was only now that I realized how naïve I had been.

Darry should have been yelling at me. I needed it. I deserved it. On the other hand, my heart had already dropped, shattered, and scattered so many times today that it was a comfort to know that the caring Darry that I always believed in really existed.

We were sitting on the beat-up little couch. I had just finished telling him the entire story. The only change in his facial expression the entire time had been the raising of his eyebrows at me provoking the Socs and then at the crash. By the time I reached the end, I realized just how little time we had if there was to be any hope of finding Pony before he wandered too far away.

_God… Pony… Poor Pony… _

He must have been frightened to death. Thankfully it was still bright outside, but how long would it be before we found him?

Darry was silent for a couple of minutes before opening his mouth, though no words came out for at least ten seconds.

"We'll find him, Soda. We'll find him…now."

He placed a comforting hand on my leg, but as I looked up into his eyes I knew that even he was unsure of his own words.

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Hey guys, I tried to make the chapter longer this time, but I don't know if it really was much longer. There are just certain spots that I feel like I need to stop at… Anyway, once again, thanks for reading! I'll be gone for a week or so, but I bet if there were a whole bunch of reviews waiting for me when I arrived I'd be even more motivated to write the next chapter! Haha… er… I'm really not that big of a review whore.


	8. Chapter 8

Eek, this came out a lot later than I thought it would. Spare me please? xD

Enjoy! Hope this doesn't end up too short…

Disclaimer: Meh… same ol' same ol'

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Pony's POV

---------------

The squealing of train-on-track echoed distantly in the back of my head.

"What's up, kiddo?"

_Could it be…?_

"Johnny? What are you doing here?"

I opened my eyes and was pleasantly surprised by the warm, golden afternoon sun shining lazily across the field. Cat-tails waved in the distance. Dandelion seeds floated in the breeze. I was sitting on the inside floor of an abandoned boxcar, my legs dangling over the edge above the rusty train tracks. I couldn't help but smile at the comforting view.

"Where are we?" I mumbled.

Johnny was standing a few feet to my left, leaning on the semi-opened boxcar door. He was grinning, his dark, chocolate-colored wisps of hair waving in the wind.

"It's a nice place, eh?"

"Yeah. It sure is…"

"_Nothing gold can stay…_Shows how much mister Frost knew." He flashed me another grin and I couldn't help but laugh.

It was strange seeing Johnny standing there, but something inside of me stopped me from questioning the situation. He was back. _He_ was _back._ I didn't need an explanation.

I jumped out onto the yellow grasses and instinctively followed Johnny, who had started walking out towards the setting sun away from the train. There was a tint of crimson already spreading along the sky.

"You know, Pony, you've been in places worse than this, ain't you?" I gave him a puzzled look as he continued talking. This place didn't seem so bad to me.

"Down at the park with the Socs, running from the cops with ol' Dally," he let out a laugh, "and Windrixville."

He stopped walking and turned around, his dark eyes carefree and understanding.

"What are you gettin' at Johnny?" I asked. He didn't really seem to notice.

"They've all been some interesting times, haven't they? I remember whipping down the road in the back of Dally's stolen car. We were real rebels back then, huh?" He was still smiling. The sky had turned a bright orange. The field stretched continually on, the grasses growing taller and thinner as we moved away from the civilized side of the tracks. We continued walking.

"We got through 'em all, okay. Barely, but we made it." A more serious tone gripped his voice. "Most of the time."

I still couldn't understand what Johnny was going on about. What did all these things have to do with anything? All I wanted to do was lie down in the grass and watch the sunset, just like the old times. God I missed him.

"You know what the great thing about you is, Ponyboy?" His eyes met mine, his hair blowing gracefully in the breeze. "You always pulled through. For me, for all of us, you pulled through." He grinned and gave my shoulder a light pound. "You're a lot tougher than you'd expect."

I couldn't help but smile at his last statement. We had somehow reached the end of the field, standing at the edge of a hill that gently sloped downwards. Out in front of us laid mountains that radiated in the setting sunlight. Emerald patches of trees were scattered across the range. At the foot of the hill we stood on was a river, its crystal waters winding snakelike through the groves and rocky mountain sides. The view was more than incredible—its beauty was inexpressible.

The two of us sat down side by side and watched the receding orb glowing in the distance. The golden skies had turned into a fiery shade of red and orange, with tiny streams of blue and purple beginning to take their place. The clouds puffed like cotton candy, floating effortlessly into the scarlet outlining of the peaks. As the warmth receded, the calm of the lavender sky stretched to cover the entire horizon, glimmering in the last rays of the sun.

Johnny turned and flashed me his golden smile.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy."

I didn't want to see his radiant face disappear ever again, but in a split second, the screeching of train upon track ripped the image before me apart.

Once again, I opened my eyes and once again I was in a boxcar, this time sprawled across the dusty floor. I pushed myself up on my elbows, cringing at the pain in my side. Everything was hazy. The doors were closed. The sun wasn't shining.

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Wow, shortest chapter ever. It seemed like a good point to stop though. Next chapter will be longer I swear! Noticed the pattern yet? Long, short, long, short, long, short. If you haven't noticed it, don't worry. I just realized that there really isn't much of a pattern in my chapters anyway. Hm….

Review!


	9. Chapter 9

Dun dun dun…

Dun dun dun…. I'm back!...ish. Thanks to all of you guys that have continued to follow my story as slow as it has been in progressing. I have to admit, I had almost forgotten about this until I got a review in my email and was like "whoa, it's still there." Okay, so it's not as old as I'm making it sound, but still, thanks again to everyone that has read so far! Here comes the next chapterrr.

Disclaimer: Eh.

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Soda's POV

--

A gust of wind wound itself around my body as I thrust open the screen door. The sky was already beginning to glow orange with the setting sun. Had that much time really gone by already? Then again, Darry and I had sat there planning our course of action for a lot longer than I had anticipated.

_Wasting too much time, Soda…_

Sighing, I jogged down the front steps into the cooling breeze. Far in the distance what appeared to be storm clouds were rolling across the sky. What a mess this entire day has been. It seemed an eternity, though it was only last night that I had carelessly…

"Darry! Let's go!" I yelled.

"Comin'…" He grumbled. The front door slammed shut behind him.

My hands kept fidgeting, jammed inside my pockets. The sound of Darry's footsteps grew closer as the two of us started down the sidewalk that lead back to where we'd crashed his car. As we neared the black-painted street sign, my breath became short. I was all kinds of nervous—scared, anxious, sick to my stomach, depressed, you name it. When I said that Darry and I had "planned our course of action" I really meant we finally decided to start our search by retracing my steps. Yeah, course of action… not so much. I glanced over at Darry who was gazing with a blank stare down the road. I turned back towards the street and sighed. We were both probably thinking the same thing.

When Pony had disappeared to Windrixville just weeks ago...

_Wow… has it only been a few weeks since that happened? It seems like it's been years…_

When he had gotten lost… god… I lost a part of myself too. Pony was more than just a brother to me, more than just a best friend that I lived with. It was because of a whole combination of things—him being my baby brother, the death of our parents, Darry assuming the role of the dad—that I cared so unconditionally for him. He understood me, I understood him. He was a part of me that I could never live without…something that I didn't really recognize until he had left. Point blank, I cried every night he was gone. I never usually cried, but every time I rolled over and felt my arms fall flat on his pillow, every time I opened my eyes and saw an empty void where he should have been asleep, I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick and scream and bawl my eyes out until he came back. I wanted to tear through the streets until I found him, but I knew that wouldn't have helped any. I hardly ever slept those days, too busy drowning in my own pitiful sorrow.

I love Pony more than anything in the world and I mean that with all my heart. Come to think of it, maybe even more than I love Darry. Don't get me wrong, I'd lay myself down in front of a cement truck for that man, but… I guess it's hard to explain. Pony did it so well in his essay, but then again, he's a lot better at those things than I am. When that damn kid was found, when I saw him down the hall in the hospital, I'd never been happier in my life. When he jumped into my arms I held him so incredibly tight, never wanting to let him go again, though his blond hair had kind of freaked me out.

But now… now it was starting all over again. I was quickly losing my mind and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

--

Pony's POV

--

The pain was beginning to subside, but emotionally and mentally, I was dying; I was at the point past the tears and past the cursing. The boxcar was dark, pitch black in fact. I sat with my back against a wooden crate and my feet planted against one of the steel walls. I was no longer really having any issues with my eyes, granted that I wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway. There was only that dull, slightly aching pain associated with them, but really, it was too dark for my impaired vision to do any damage. The ground was cold and grimy beneath my fingertips. I was sure the doors were locked. I had groped my way from wall to wall for the past hour or so trying to find the sliding panel that would reintroduce me to freedom but to no avail. Either I had somehow ended up in a doorless cart or the only exit was locked from the outside. Thank god the train wasn't moving or, god forbid, I would never find my way home. Home... Then again was there a chance of that even now?

The initial fear of the dark and my mild case of claustrophobia had given away to new, much more immediate issues. Was I going to starve to death in here? How would anyone ever be able to find me? The only train tracks I knew of were fairly far off from any decent amount of civilization. Banging and screaming was just wasted effort at this point. The stress was killing me, quite literally. God, how I longed for Soda or Darry to be here, to tell me that everything was going to be alright, to save me from this hell-hole.

_I'm so sorry… So, so sorry for getting lost again. Worthless piece of… damn it Pony. Damn it. _

All the while that dream, or vision, or whatever it was, continued to haunt me.

_Johnny… if only you were here_.

He'd be able to get us out of this mess. He always could.

"_Stay gold, Pony." _

How could I stay gold now? I couldn't help but laugh. I was losing my luster for sure. But still, there was something about that dream that had just seemed so real… so close… I couldn't get my fingers around it, though.

A deep rumble suddenly rocked the boxcar. For a second, my heart dropped as I imagined the train to have started moving. But a moment later all was still again. Off in the distance the deep growling of thunder could be heard. I raised my head up in anticipation. The pinging sounds of rain falling on metal began to bounce off the walls.

_Great, just what I needed_.

Another rumble shook the boxcar, causing me to jump to my feet. It was a lot closer this time, but…somehow… different. Then another bang, inches from my head. A series of knocks resounded down the side of the cart… almost as if someone was dragging a stick down the side of the train.

_Someone dragging a stick…_

My head suddenly snapped towards the wall, plunging my ears against the cold steel. Muffled shouts could be heard from outside. The sudden realization of what was happening dawned on me.

"HELP!!" I screamed, banging on the sides of the boxcar with all the strength I had left within me.

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Ah… soo… I hope my hiatus hasn't had a negative affect on my writing, but I'm slightly disappointed with how this chapter came out. I still hope you guys enjoyed it and sorry for not updating in so long!! I know these chapters seem kind of drawn out, but I had originally intended on this story being more developed and less rushed than my other stuff. Hopefully it's not just edging on boring right now… anyway, you guys know the drill, review review review!!

PS: please please please let me know if I'm repeating something from previous chapters or if you find any inconsistencies. I haven't read the rest of the story for so long I'm not even sure that I know what's going on.

Thanks!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Wow. So, most of you probably hate me for not having written for so long, I don't blame you, haha. School is hectic and I literally had not thought about until about half an hour ago. I just actually sat and reread through my entire story, and I'll be honest, at the moment I have no idea where I was going with the last chapter. At all. However, I would love to be able to continue hopefully as if nothing happened, and I hope you guys will find it in your hearts to forgive me for the super long break. :D Enjoy!

PS: I just want to say thank you again to all those readers. IF it wasn't for you guys and the random reviews I get every now and then, I probably wouldn't have the heart to continue. Thanks!!!

Disclaimer: I Do not own any of the outsiders characters, though the more I write, the more I feel like these versions of Soda, Pony, etc, have become my own.

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Darry's POV

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_We'll find him…_

Soda was a few feet ahead of me, stepping left and right, glancing in every direction. I had no idea where the two of them had come from, so all I could really do was follow him.

_We'll find him…_

The sky was a fiery orange, beautiful really, but I didn't have the mind to consider it at the moment. There was some bizarre feeling deep down in my stomach, rocking back and forth, making me uneasy.

Was it anger? No, I wasn't angry. Surprisingly, I never found the time to get mad at Soda as I'm sure I normally would have given the circumstances. My car was totaled… completely irreparable for all I know, but I didn't really care.

Was it… fear? Yes, I was afraid… always afraid for Pony, scared to death even for what would happen to him. It was a new type of fear I developed with that kid. It wasn't the type of fear you get when you're alone in the dark, or being chased by some stupid Socs. It was something deeper, sickening almost. I encountered it for the first time that day I…

Was it anxiety? Distress? Yes, yes, these feelings were all making their home in my mind, but… they weren't what I was looking for.

_We'll find him…_

That was it. Worthlessness. I had said it myself—_all I could do was follow Soda_. I knew nothing, had no idea of what could have happened, no idea where Pony could be.

Maybe that was why I was so "calm."

Soda and I had sat down at our kitchen table, planning our course of action. We didn't actually do anything but stare at each other for a couple of minutes before he stood up.

"Let's just go," was all he said before grabbing his cap and heading out the door…

We rounded a corner down a street I wasn't too familiar with. The sign was blackened out. Probably Two-bit. Soda kicked a broken coke bottle along the curb as his footsteps quickened.

Where could he have gone? How could I have let this happen again?

_We'll find him…_

It hurt to think about these things—how I failed him before as not only his guardian, but more importantly as his brother, his protector.

I shook my head and followed Soda down a little pathway along the road. It wouldn't help to think about these things right now. I had to keep my head clear, keep my eyes sharp on the lookout for anything that could lead us to Pony. I still had my role to play as the oldest brother and had to stay strong. Even then…

_We'll find him…_

…I wasn't so sure we could.

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Pony's POV

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I could feel the rawness of my throat vibrating against the words that were so desperately trying to escape the steel cage of this train.

"HELP! IN THE TRAI-"

I collapsed against walls with my head in my hands. There was nothing more I could do. I had been banging and screaming as loud as I could for at least 15 minutes and for what? Nothing. The rain was probably drowning out my cries for help, the thunder overshadowing the sounds.

The voices from outside were beginning to fade and I could only barely make out what they were saying through the storm.

"…ready…go…few hours….new shipment… in…"

That was all I could catch before they disappeared completely into the stormy abyss.

_Ready…to go?_

Was this train about to leave? Were we going off to pick up a "new shipment" somewhere? After all, from what I could tell, this could only be a cargo train.

Then that was it. Fin. Done for.

Once this train started moving there was absolutely no more hope to be found. Heck, I had no idea where I was in the first place, how could I expect Soda or Darry to find me after I had moved who knows how many miles?

_Soda…. Darry…_

_God, I need you guys so badly right now… _

It was a strange feeling taking over. I was too tired to cry and too confused and aching to think clearly. The rain and the thunder sounded quite soothingly in the background of my thoughts. Every so often a drop of rain that had tunneled its way inside dripped onto my head. I stretched my legs out in front of me, slumping further down along the steel walls.

I was drifting in and out. With my eyes closed, I could only distantly feel the gentle throbbing from before, now more of a tingling sensation than any sort of pain. My throat was hoarse from the yelling and stung with each swallow. My hands were covered in grime, sticky and wet clasped tightly together. I knew that if I fell asleep now, there would be no more hope. I had to stay awake, just incase… just incase Soda and Darry were running up to the train now. I had to let them know I was here.

But as my mind wandered back to our home, our nice, comfortable home with the television always on a little too loud, with Soda snoring peacefully next to me, Darry yelling at me to go do something productive, all I wanted to do was to drift away from this dank prison… to rid myself of all my problems and just… go.

As my head rolled down onto my right shoulder, an image of Johnny with his bright smile flashed in my mind.

_I'm sorry Johnny...._

_But nothing gold can stay._

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So………….. There we have it. Chapter 10. Very short, I know and it might not seem like anything's really happening, but it's all set-up for what's to come! (I know I keep saying that but it's true! Hopefully)….

As always feel free to leave any comments/concerns and I hope you enjoyed! I should be back much more regularly now that summer has come.

Thanks!


	11. Author Note

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to shoot out a quick A/N to let everyone know that I haven't complete died and fallen off the planet. It's been truly touching to still be getting reviews and comments on this fic after not updating for… wow 3 years. You guys are honestly the best, and because of that, I'm going to try to come back to this in the next couple of weeks and see what I can do! It's been a while, so I feel like I might have lost the flow, but hopefully my writing has also improved these past few years.

I recently came back to after a long period because I recently became addicted to Teen Wolf and wanted to get my writing juices flowing again (be sure to check out my most recent work "Where do I even start" that's currently being worked on if you're a fan of the show).

Thanks again and hope to have an update for you guys in the near future.

-J

PS: I really hope I didn't give anyone expecting a chapter update from this any false hope. Huge apologies if so!


	12. Chapter 11

_Soda's POV_

* * *

The sun had set and fresh droplets of rain were pebbling against the dirt. Darry and I had come across a clearing with tall grasses swaying gently in the breeze. It stretched for what seemed like miles away from the main road. Somehow, we had never seen it before, but then again, we never had that much of a reason to stray from the neighborhood.

A subtle unease crept quietly up my spine. It was a familiar feeling. One I hadn't thought, or rather hoped, would ever emerge again. Something dark. Something awful.

_Hopelessness._

We had walked in silence for nearly an hour. My mind had settled a bit in the fresh air, brain desperately clawing for composure knowing that panic would never get us to the right place. But still, the dull ache that had fallen deep in my chest was growing. I didn't want to go back. Go back to that place of pain. Of fear. The crying, the sleeplessness, the anger. None of it.

"Soda…" Darry's voice was low. Gravelly, like something was trying to escape from his throat. The strength that rang comfortably in his words was missing. "Over there."

I followed his finger to a section of the field that looked unsettled, unnaturally flat. My pulse quickened, but I willed it down. Couldn't keep setting myself up for disappointment.

"Might just been some 'ol deer or somethin' trampling through." My own voice sounded foreign. Broken.

"Soda," he said again.

_God, I wish he'd just quit. Quit saying my name. _

"Yeah," I sighed, turning in that direction. We had no other lead anyway.

The rain was soothing on my skin, but I could only worry that Pony was somewhere cold and shivering, soaked to the bone. As we continued forward, it only got heavier. Thunder growled ominously from above. Eventually the crumpled trail of grass gave out to gravel and dirt that swirled in the pools of water collecting across the train tracks.

_Train tracks. _

"Darry," I muttered, eyeing the tracks that were suddenly before us, stretching far into the darkness.

"I didn't know the tracks extended this far," I heard him say from a couple of steps behind. The train was only ever seen next to the old theater. No one had ever been curious enough to follow those particular tracks to see where they led. But maybe…

"Ponyboy. Maybe he knows where these tracks lead. If the theaters at the other end, he could have followed the-"

"Maybe." I could hear the doubt in Darry's voice. A sudden flush ran through my body, but as I turned, it quickly dissipated. Darry looked exhausted. Spent. It could have been the rain dripping down the contours of his face, but his eyes… they'd only looked this way once before, when mom and pop had… I had never stopped to think about how Darry must have been feeling, being so used to his solid, take charge demeanor that never left any questions asked. But here he stood, no closer to hope than I was. And perhaps just as broken. And that scared me. I reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe's all we got, Darry."

"Yeah… you're right."

With that we picked up the pace, following the tracks north towards where we could see the night lights of town twinkling through the rain.

I tried to let my mind settle, concentrate on the path though water was constantly blurring my vision. It took all I could to block the cries from my head, but even then, I heard him. Heard him calling for me, crying for me. I wasn't ready to face the guilt. The truth. That this was all my fault.

* * *

"_H__elp…" Pony whispered, tears edging through his eyelids shut tight. "Soda..." I shook him gently, trying to wake him._

"_Baby, shh… you're just having a nightmare." _

_He whimpered and reached out with his hands, grabbing into empty space. "Soda," he croaked, still in the throes of his dreams. The tremble in his voice, the sliver of pain, so quiet in the darkness of our bedroom gripped at my heart, squeezing something terrible. He continued to cry out, sweat dripping precariously from the hair plastered against his forehead onto the pillow as he twisted and turned under the blankets. _

_I grabbed his arms to keep them from flailing, bringing them down to his sides, and pulling him in close to my chest. _

"_It's okay, baby, it's okay," I mumbled, softly stroking the back of his head. He eventually stilled, burying his face deeper into my shoulders, hands clutching desperately at my t-shirt. _

_In the weeks after Johnny's death, Pony was constantly having nightmares. Dreams so deep that it often took me several tries to get him awake. He would curl against my body and stay wide awake for the rest of the night. Sometimes we talked. Usually about the latest movie that had come out, or about Darry's new job prospects, just to keep his mind busy. But every now and then we would talk about Johnny. About the fights. About the burning church. His death had hit all of us hard, but it had destroyed Pony. _

"_It was my fault, you know." _

"_Pony, stop, it wasn't nobody's fau-"_

"_He was trying to protect me. To save me. I was too weak. And that's why we had to run and hide. And then Dally… god…" _

"_Pony, it's no one's-"_

"_Soda," he interrupted, looking up with sleep-laden, burning eyes, brows furrowed. He stopped talking, then, sighing and closing his eyes._

_All I could do was hold him tighter._

* * *

And still I could hear his cries ringing in my ears, even through the rain, though it was beginning to let up. One of those stop-and-go summer showers. But his voice. It sounded so real, even as I tried to block it out of my mind. It rested faintly in my ears, on the edge of reality, so much so that for a second, I could have sworn…

"Soda, did you hear that?"

_It couldn't be…_

And there it was a again. A muffled cry from the distance, one that was unmistakably Pony's. It was interrupted by a blaring whistle from further along the tracks. A light flashed briefly as the iron squeals of the railway burst into life.

_No…_

For a second my body froze, my brain struggling to catch up with the world outside.

_Ponyboy._

I started sprinting towards the train.

* * *

Notes:

Super short. Don't kill me. It's been a while, gotta slowly get back into the groove. AS you can probably tell, its been AGES since I've immersed myself in The Outsiders, so I do not doubt that this chapter suddenly reads very differently from the others. I'll try to get back into it, but my writing style has definitely changed in the past couple of years.

Review and follow as always :) Glad to be back.


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